Ah, Christmastime! Time to gather ’round the warm glow of the television and soak in some holiday classics. But why resign yourself to the “classics” like It’s a Wonderful Life and Scrooged when you can bask in the Christmas spirit of some more non-tradition holiday classics? See, to qualify as a bona fide “Christmas movie”, the hero (or sometimes the villain) must somehow be transformed by the power of Christmas, but what about those films that only take place at Christmas? When’s their time to shine? Well, buckle up for some great yuletide watching with Steve’s picks of Christmas movies that break the mould. A warning in advance: None of these are fit for family watching.
5. Gremlins (1984)
If I were to hazard a guess, I’d think that Steven Spielberg might have intended Gremlins to be set against Christmas as opposed to something seemingly more appropriate like Halloween to sweeten the on screen mayhem through contrast. I’m way more certain that the intent of the film was to make a comment on society’s reliance on technology gone mad… man, did they jump the gun on making this movie, or what?
When Billy gets a mysterious new pet as a gift for Christmas, he’s given three simple rules: Never get him wet, never feed him after midnight, and keep him out of the sun. Well, there couldn’t be a movie without breaking those rules, so as the humble Gizmo unleashes his badly behaved brethren on a small town on Christmas eve things jump off and go from hairy to scaly to deadly! Featuring a fully clothed Phoebe Cates and a younger than usual Corey Feldman, this film rings in the Christmas season with exploding microwaves and the best death by stairlift ever.
4. Lethal Weapon (1987)
Christmas is way more in the background in this movie, although Lethal Weapon does feature an empty police car crashing into the Murtaugh family Christmas tree and Mr. Joshua shooting up a TV playing the Alastair Simm version of A Christmas Carol. And when it’s all wrapped up, and the bad guys have all been sent to bad guy heaven, everyone gathers for a wholesome Christmas dinner, complete with quarreling pets.
LAPD detectives Murtaugh (Danny Glover) and Riggs (Mel Gibson) team up to take on a group of mercenary drug dealers in this classic buddy movie that brings us one of the greatest in-custody beatings and subsequent prisoner shootings of the 80′s – no place but Los Angeles. Not sure why Hollywood puts up with Gary Busey’s antics? Gary puts the psycho in psychopath as the arm burning, milk carton bullseyeing Mr. Joshua. Not getting enough saxophone in your movie soundtracks? Lethal Weapon is your hook up.
3. The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
Brian’s always given me a hard time for this one, but a Christmas parade and a Christmas party are both important plot points in this film. Heck, the main character dresses up as Mrs. Claus in this movie. While the movie wraps up in some picturesque corner of pastoral America in the middle of summer, the Christmas carollers concealing a murderous escaped convict and Charlie Baltimore skating across a frozen lake with a rifle on our her back can’t help but leave you dreaming of a white Christmas.
When amnesiac school teacher Samantha Caine (Geena Davis) gets in a car accident on the way home from a Christmas party, flashes of her old life start bubbling to the surface, and it ain’t pretty. With the help of skeevy private investigator Mitch Henessey (played with reckless abandon by tirade legend Sam Jackson), they reveal that Samantha was super spy Charlie Baltimore who still has some unfinished business to attend to – before it attends to her! Some great banter provided by Shane Black’s script (Shane has written at least 3 great Christmas related scripts that I know of, including Top 5 runner up Kiss Kiss Bang Bang) along with some classic Sam Jackson one liners. Oh, and this is my favourite performance by Brian Cox, ever, period.
2. Die Hard (1988)
There’s not much to say about this movie that I haven’t already said. This is a classic Christmas movie in my book, but it could just as easily be taking place at any other time of year. You could argue that the licks that McClane takes throughout the siege are of biblical proportions and that celebrates Christianity’s favourite son better than Miracle on 34th St. does…or you might just consider that blasphemous and prefer to think of the movie on a barefooted actioner basis.
NYPD Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) travels to Los Angeles on Christmas Eve to attempt a reconciliation with his estranged wife when his plans are derailed by a German super-thief (Alan Rickman) and his gang of merry mercenaries. They disrupt John’s Christmas party, kill some of the guests, blow up a few floors, lay down some smackdowns, all while McClane is barefoot… hey, even Jesus wore sandals.
1. Brazil (1985)
This is one of my favourite movies of all time, but it’s a little heavy duty, so trying to watch it once a year is no picnic. However, this dystopian masterpiece makes great use of Christmas as a gauge of the state of mankind’s rampant consumerism, especially the Director’s cut with Lowry’s boss dressed as Santa Claus in the prisoner processing facility. Unlike some of these other movies, I don’t think it would have been the same movie if it didn’t have Christmas as a backdrop, it plays such an important part in setting the mood and showing what the world has lost in the time between now and the not too distant future.
In a dreary dystopian world, Harry Tuttle (Robert DeNiro) is an outlaw heating engineer, cutting through the bureaucracy to make sure Joe Homeowner has an air conditioner in proper working order. When a clerical error sends out the wrong arrest warrant for this disturber of the peace the government has to play damage control to head off a perceived terrorist threat. And that’s just the subplot! This is among Terry Gilliam’s finest films, and given his body of work, that’s really saying something.
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